Randomness of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings
by RitalinGirlandHairit
Summary: A bunch of random HP and LOTR characters act dumb and are soon committed to a mental institution by Rubber Ducky and Ritalin Girl. READ AND REVIEW OR HOUNDS WILL COME TO YOUR DOOR!


A/N: Dude, we formed a new name! Yay! Ok, read our stories, we are INSANE1 (Ritalin Girl) and HPandLOTRfanatic (Harrit). If you don't read them, Ritalin Girl will set her hounds on you. And if you don't read this Harrit will boil you in oil. (This was all typed by Ritalin Girl.) From Harrit: All right, this was written at midnight while we were on a sugar high. Expect extreme silliness.  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing, 'cept Ritalin Girl, Hair-it, and the Rainshine Sisters!!!!!  
  
One rainy afternoon, a random group of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings characters were in a pub, drinking ale and vodka.  
  
The random group was Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf, Dumbledore, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, Oliver Wood, and just for the heck of it, Ringwraith Number 2.  
  
Anyway, they were all sitting there happily drinking. Even Ringwraith Number 2.  
  
"Hi everyone!" Ron yelled, loudly.  
  
"Ok, shut up," Hermione said, and then kissed him.  
  
While the two were making out, Aragorn and Sirius were getting in a fight.  
  
"Hey, I'm the hotter one!" Aragorn yelled.  
  
"No, I am!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"Ok, shut up," Hermione said, once again.  
  
They ignored her, as she continued to kiss Ron.  
  
"Well, I'm dead sexy!" Aragorn said.  
  
"I hate to inform ya'll," Oliver said, seriously. "But, I'm devilishly handsome and single." He raised his eyebrows twice to a random audience member, who happened to be Claricka Rainshine (See 'The Crazy Rainshine Sisters' by INSANE1). Much drooling is in effect.  
  
"I eat cheese," Ringwraith number 2 said randomly.  
  
"Who gives a crap," Harry said.  
  
Frodo shrugged. "I sure as hell don't. I've got an f'ing ring to worry about destroying before I get killed."  
  
Harry looked at him. "You've got a point."  
  
Ron, Merry, and Pippin were happily drinking ale and stuffing their fat faces with food. Dumbledore was sitting in a rocking chair that had randomly appeared and was knitting a beautiful sweater. Gandalf was trying to hit on Dumbledore (We all know Mr. McKellan is gay). Dumbledore was enjoying it.  
  
Sam, however, was sitting there, talking to himself. Legolas was eating tulips.  
  
Suddenly, the door banged open. A girl with curly black hair stood in the doorway, with a cowgirl hat on, a walkie-talkie in hand, and a piece of straw in her mouth.  
  
"This is Ritalin Girl! I got Preperation H in the rear!" she yelled.  
  
Her friend, standing next to her, glared. "This is Rubber Ducky. Ten- four, you sonbitch pile 'a monkey nuts!"  
  
Ritalin girl laughed really hard, not knowing what she was insulted, but then returned the insult.  
  
Everyone in the audience paused. Sirius slapped Aragorn. Aragorn suddenly jolted, looking. Gandalf and Dumbledore looked over, Gandalf's hand on Dumbledore's leg. Ron and Hermione were going at it, once again. Harry and Frodo stared, normally. Wow. The only normal ones. Sam continued to talk to himself.  
  
"You are a sonbitch pile 'a monkey nuts, Samwise Gamgee!" he yelled to himself. Everyone stared for a minute. SAM SWORE! But, then they just stared back at the two retarded girls, Rubber Ducky and Ritalin Girl.  
  
"Olives and toothpicks are wonderful things," Ringwraith number 2 said, once again randomly.  
  
"Shut up," everyone said in unison, except for the ones stuffing their faces.  
  
Pippin shoved a large piece of pie into his mouth. "Mmm mmm good!" he said. Merry picked up another piece and shoved it in his mouth. "You're right!" he said.  
  
"You better get used to us, because we'll haunt you for the rest of your miserable lives!" Ritalin Girl screamed.  
  
Frodo looked up. "You're right. My life is miserable. I've got the stupid ring, my uncle Bilbo, the rest of the Fellowship, my life, Smeagol, and just about everything else in the world lieing on my shoulders!"  
  
Harry glared at him. "Grow up. I'm 40 years younger than you, and I'm more mature by a long shot!"  
  
"Oh my gosh, you have the ring?" the Ringwraith yelled. "Did I mention that cheddar cheese is my favorite kind?"  
  
"Uh, no I don't," Frodo quickly lied. "I have a ring that is ugly, and I.uh.don't like it."  
  
The Ringwraith jumped up, and chased after Frodo, knowing he was lying.  
  
"F off, and stay away!" Frodo screamed.  
  
The Rainshine Sisters were again drooling at the sight of Oliver Wood, writing a song as they fought. But, no one paid any attention to them, which pissed them off.  
  
Everyone's attention was suddenly diverted to Dumbledore and Gandalf who were suddenly making out. Everyone groaned in disgust, except for Ringwraith Number 2, who stared in awe. His nickname was actually Perv Boy.  
  
Rubber Ducky looked around. "You're all a bunch of numbskulls," she said. Seeing as no one was listening, she screamed, "BE ABSOLUTELY QUIET AND SHUT UP WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone was immediately quiet. No one spoke for over an hour as they all drank their drinks, made out, or chased someone around. No noise was made, not even a mouse made a squeak. Finally, Hair-it(Rubber Ducky) said, "Ok, I didn't mean it that literally."  
  
Immediately, all sound started up again, and so did the cat fight between Aragorn and Sirius.  
  
As everyone watched in disgust, Gandalf and Dumbledore started to undress each other. Ritalin Girl raised an eyebrow. "Ummm.Take it upstairs, boys."  
  
They ignored her and kept undressing each other.  
  
"Ok, monkey nuts!" Ritalin Girl yelled more loudly. "SHUT THE HECK UP! YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FRICKEN IDIOTS! OK? ESPECIALLY THAT PERV BOY OVER THERE!"  
  
She smiled at her wrath, and then decided to crowd surf over to Aragorn. "Look, Sirius. He's hotter. Now shut up!"  
  
They ignored her and kept fighting.  
  
Ritalin Girl walked over to Frodo. "And you! SHUT UP! WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"  
  
Frodo glared. "Well, you said my life was miserable," he wailed.  
  
Hair-it ran over to her sister. "Uh, I think you should just let these poor retards be. We should commit them to a mental institution."  
  
"Good idea!" Ritalin Girl yelled.  
  
So, they did, and they all lived insanely ever after.  
  
Thus, Hair-it and Ritalin Girl wound up landing themselves in a mental hospital as well!  
  
::Hair-it walks into the computer. How? We do not know or care:: I've decided to end this freak show. Good night to you all, and I hope that gay men don't make out or undress themselves in front of you. It kinda leaves a scar to see anyone undressing each other. ::She shoots the typist and....::  
  
A/N: We mean no offense to gay people or Ian. We just thought it was funny. 


End file.
